Coming to Calvinism: A Personal Testimony - Part 2
by Bret Capranica
Becoming a pastor is what eventually helped me to come to Calvinism. How? Because I was committed to biblical exposition, I began preaching through books of the Bible. But, there were a few books that scared me. Why? Because of a number of tough theological issues I couldn't resolve, like predestination and election vs. the free agency of man (ever heard of that one?). I ignored the "P" and "E" words and those books in the Bible that tended to use them. That’s why I came to Calvinism rather early in my pastorate. There aren’t many books that do not use those intriguing words. But I was very fearful of a few books that seemed to camp on them. Romans terrified me. Ephesians was smaller, so it merely made me nervous. But, I thought that I should deal with the issues and settle it in my mind, so I began an exposition of Ephesians.
But that was not all. I was also exposed to the results of “decisional” conversions. I can remember preaching one evening of a revival service (no comments please) and when it came to the invitation (again, no comments), I was able to get seventeen people to come forward. As they came, I asked them why they were coming. Few could communicate a clear answer. To my knowledge, none profess Christ to this day. I was shaken. My approach to ministry was shaken. I returned to my study the next week with different questions in my mind. Thank God for the sovereign work of the Holy Spirit through His word.
I still remember the day that my mind was captivated with the doctrine of depravity from Ephesians 2. It all came together there. Election finally made sense when I saw how desperate my condition was. If God had not elected, I would never have come to faith. I was dead in sin. If God did not preserve me, I could not remain in faith, my flesh is too deceptive. I began to weep in thanksgiving and increased confidence in God for how gracious He was in bringing me to faith. My joy in God had never been greater.
I had some friends who patiently helped me along. Men like James Boice and his commentary on Ephesians, John MacArthur on Ephesians, J. I. Packer’s Knowing God, and the book that seemed to clinch it for me was Packer’s Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God. I was drawn to men whose writings made more of the greatness of God than they did the autonomy of sinful men. Richard Belcher’s little theological novel A Journey in Grace was helpful. Packer’s A Quest for Godliness became a powerful book in my life. Men like Tom Ascol and the Founders Ministries showed me that my growing convictions regarding God’s sovereignty and grace in salvation was a large part of my Baptist heritage. The greatest friend I had whose Personal Narrative liberated me, was Jonathan Edwards. His comments about his own struggles with sovereignty and his eventual reception of the doctrine sent my soul heavenward. In other words, while I wasn’t saved under the ministry of a Calvinist and I would definitely not have called myself a Calvinist for several years after my conversion, I am more convinced now than ever that I was still a calvinist (little "c" intended), even without knowing it.
My salvation is a work of God, determined before time began because I was one dead in sin and without the desire or the ability to find or know God on my own. Every day I am more aware of how important it is that God preserve me each and every moment. Without Him, I would more than surely fail. God, not man (primarily myself) has become the center of my life. I was convinced by a steady study of the Bible and a few outside friends of God’s sovereignty. So, I’m probably not too excited to use the big “C” word to describe myself or to attempt to convince others of the doctrines of grace. I would rather them see the grace of God and the more “reformed” view of salvation from a steady study of the Scriptures. I am sure there are many more like myself out there. I pray for them. I pray that God opens them to the wonders of His word and an understanding of His marvelous grace.
I wonder, does that make me a Calvinist or a calvinist?
Having said all of this, later today, I want to pose an interesting question about Calvinism and conversion. Look for it this afternoon.
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11 Spoke Up:
Maybe I am just too simple-minded, but I have to ask one question.
Why is this debate important??? What is the significance in how I walk daily?
I am not someone who takes sides. As a matter of fact, untill a few weeks ago, I had no idea Christians were calling each other names over this debate. (And yes, I think when Armenians use the word Calvinist, and vice-versa, that is name calling).
I will admit that I have not read much from blogs that support the opposite viewpoint, but everything I have read from blogs like your own are far removed from descriptors like "Christ-like". In this case, its not your message, its you the messengers that I find little to approve of.
However, on the topic itself, I would ask this? As Calvinists, how do you deal with your own personal sin? What happens to your assurance of salvation when in a weak moment, God's grace doesnt keep you from sinning? Again, perhaps I am a bit too simple-minded, but it would lead me to constant doubt of my salvation.
I have lied awake many a night as a child and young adult agonizing over my failings. Based on what I have read, Calvinists believe that I could read everything the Bible teaches about Jesus, believe he is my only hope of salvation, want desparately to have that salvation, but if God chooses to not give grace to me, then its just too bad for me?
When I read the whole of scripture, I believe there has to be a better explanation of the scriptures than the one you give here.
Your story sounds so much like my own...
It was with great fear and trepidation that I preached Romans 9 to my Southern Baptist church. After the sermon I didn't even know what Calvinism was but was warned to "stay away from it".
The more I study the Bible and the more I learn the more I see God's grace and soveriegnty in all things.
I am so thankful for the mercy that he shows all of us...
Papito, you need to keep reading and studying the Scriptures. As a matter of fact, an inductive study through Ephesians would be a great place to start.
Thanks, Bret! That's a great testimony for Calvinism you've got there.
My sister (who is mildly mentally retarded) finally got the nerve to come forward during an altar call at the end of one of the services at our former church after sitting in the pews for about 4 years. Later that afternoon I took the time to talk to her about her "decision" and Jesus Christ. Basically, she didn't get it. But, the pastor and the lady (an elder's wife) that prayed with her after the altar call pretty much assured her of being a Christian.
Talk about putting an end to someone trying to seek answers...just tell 'em they're saved! That'll do it...
I can only assume that you are choosing to delete and ignore my questions now. Unless perhaps for some reason my post did not reach you, in which case, I will repeat my response.
First, do no imply that simply because I come to different conclusions than you that I do not study God's word to the same degree that you do. Perhaps I do not, but your implication was presumptious and arrogant. Secondly, instead of referring me to scripture (which is where I go when I want to ask God a question, not you) how about answering mine directly.
Why is this debate so important? Why would you spend so much time and energy debating this? So you are a Calvinist? Big Deal? So someone else may be an Armenian(I didnt even know this name existed until two weeks ago)? So What?
The only conclusion I can draw when I read such websites is that for you, It is more important to be right than to be like Jesus.
The amazing thing is that you are not alone. I go to Catholic websites talking about how wrong Protestants are. I go to Protestant sites talking about how Catholics are idolators.
It is foolishness and Satan laughs the entire time. He wins, no matter how right you might be.
Papito, thank you for your more humble response. To my knowledge, your comment wasn't deleted by us (but I could be wrong).
Sorry I sounded arrogant, that wasn't my intention. I seriously think you need to study the issues in a more detailed way. I'm not aware that anyone at Fide-O said no arminians could be genuine Christians. I think you will find the exact opposite has been said. But, the issues are still important, especially as they relate to the gospel.
If you have only heard of this debate within the past two weeks, I would suggest some further dialogue and reading on the issues. They have been important for many more moons that we've been around.
Being like Jesus doesn't suppose that we ignore what the Bible teaches about the gospel, but just the opposite. Arminian doctrine much of which is expressed in official Roman Catholic theology does in fact lead to very different conclusions on what the gospel is and its effects. This is a very important issue. Your comments alone demonstrate how important.
Im not quite sure how my comments demonstrate anything other than your assumptions about my beliefs. And I dont think I ever implied that Calvinists dont believe Armenians are not Christians or vice-versa. What I do believe is that there are essential and less-essential points of doctrine, as well as those which are clear and less clear, and I become highly suspicious of any one who believes they have cornered the market on God with their particular interpretion, or their group's interpretation, regardless of how long they might have been around.
Still you fail to answer my question. I dont care about who is right on this particular issue. Give me a reason as to why this is so important to you.
As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. I believe thinking about God, His sovereignty, His salvation, His grace, His love, His wisdom, His truth... is the most natural thing that I do since Jesus came into my heart.
Papito,
Jesus said, "Those who worship God must worship Him in spirit and truth." The roots of the debate are deeply planted in the study of the nature of God, the nature of man and the work of the cross. This is, or should be at the heart of every believer, the careful musing about the tremendous things of God for "the Father is seeking such to worship Him". The discussion is not about us, its about God. It is one of the ways He has asked us to worship Him.
Interesting debate. I think it's good for all to be reminded that God is outside of time, and that Jesus was slain before the foundation of the world. Think about it this way: change is a human concept. God does not change. Therefore we can have assurance of our salvation because His promises, truth, and grace do not change. Whatever your thoughts on predestination, remember that we are stuck in time, and God is outside of time. He knew who would be saved because he has the luxury of knowing past present and future. That's all that means.
And it never changes the gospel. We are saved by something DONE (the completed subsitutionary work of Christ on the cross)and not by doing. That is in some ways an epiphany, but it is not that epiphany that saves. It is the power of Christ that does so, and His Spirit impresses that upon our hearts so that we are able to simply trust him. "Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering, for he is faithful who promised." I am saved because God keeps his promises. Christ himself is the assurance of that promise, not a minor doctrine of predestination or election. Those are just other ways of saying that God is outside of time. Remember Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." This includes His perception of time. When he promises something, it's as good as done. however, we as humans must believe in something we have never seen, and wait for the resurrection of our bodies, believing that Christ really did conquer death for me although I have not experienced that part of my redemption yet. So because i am bound by time, I am regenerated because I believed on a promise made to me by a God that does not change and cannot lie. Predestination to me is another way of God saying "I loved you before you were born." All i can say is "WOW!"
to the last guy, who did not have the courtesy to give us his identity, your whole view of "God outside of time" is twisted erroneous doctrine that makes a complete joke out of many Biblical passages. Neither Bret, the majority of theologians, nor I believe your view of election. I strongly encourage you to study the doctrine and not just try to let your finite brain just come up with something that "makes sense to you" but has no Biblical foundation.
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